Liverpool are said to be ‘accelerating’ a move for Real Madrid star Rodrygo to replace Luis Diaz amid widely reported interest from Arsenal, less widely reported interest from Manchester City and presumed interest from Chelsea, because it’s Chelsea and they want all the forwards.
But they should perhaps pump the brakes after casting an eye over this truly appalling comprehensive list of honking flops who have made the move from Real Madrid to the Premier League, in order of transfer fee.
19) Christian Karambeu (Middlesbrough, £2.1m)
We’re in absolute agreement with Karambeu, who insisted his move to Teeside from Madrid was a “big, big deal” on the back of two Champions League titles in three years for Los Blancos, to go with his World Cup and European Championship winners medals with France. Boro finished 14th in his only season before Karambeu upped sticks to Olympiacos.
18) Davor Suker (Arsenal, £3.5m)
Bought as a replacement for Nicolas Anelka, who moved in the opposite direction for £22.3m, it’s fair to say Croatia’s World Cup 1998 hero wasn’t quite like-for-like, scoring just 11 goals in 39 appearances. Fortunately Arsenal also signed a certain Thierry Henry in the same summer.
17) Fernando Morientes (Liverpool, £6.3m)
He managed just 12 goals in 61 appearances and later admitted he was the “worst version of myself” during a two-year stint as Anfield which was “killing me slowly”. Yikes.
16) Jonathan Woodgate (Middlesbrough, £7m)
After two injury-ravaged seasons at the Bernabeu, Woodgate returned to fitness and form at Boro before moving to Spurs in January in 2008 and immediately becoming the second-last (yes, the second last) trophy-winning hero.
15) Njitap Geremi (Chelsea, £6.9m)
Arriving in the first cash-laden summer of the Romano Abramovich era, his always felt like a slightly odd signing after a decent but not world-beating season on loan from Madrid at Middlesbrough. After 19 starts in his debut season under Claudio Ranieri, Geremi was never more than a bit-part player under Jose Mourinho, though we’re sure he’s perfectly happy with a haul of two Premier Leagues, two League Cups and an FA Cup.
14) Rafael van der Vaart (Tottenham, £8m)
We’re not sure whether Tottenham fans will be delighted or sickened by Van der Vaart claiming the Harry Redknapp side he played in with Gareth Bale and Luka Modric was “the best team I ever played in” having left Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaka, Karim Benzema, Raul and Ruud van Nistelrooy behind him at Real Madrid.
That may well have been the peak ‘Spurs are fun but are never going to win anything’ period and Van der Vaart was a big reason for that, presumably swapping notes with Jamie O’Hara over their future roles as Tell It Like It Is pundits, colloquially known as ‘pr*cks’.
13) Esteban Granero (QPR, £9m)
He joined as one of several ‘marquee signings’ among 15 in total in that mad 2012 summer which was entirely predictably QPR’s undoing as they finished bottom of the table.
